When You Lose A Child

11:11 AM

When you lose a child, you lose your illusion of safety. You lose your illusion of having control over any situation, ever again. You lose your sense of security. You lose your understanding of how the world should work. You lose any sense of hopes and dreams for the future. You lose the feeling of order. Life is chaos. 
All of these things are stolen from you in that one moment, when your child leaves you. 
Your faith is stripped back and tossed aside, bleeding and bare. 
It takes God, to find your faith again and begin building new muscle on its' bones, with His hope and peace. It takes God, to lay the new flesh of His security and safety in your life. It takes God, to lift your faith out of the pit of hopeless mud it has become trapped in and give it His wings, built with order and wisdom. It takes God's breath, to carry those wings to new hope and new dreams for the future.
It takes a really long time and it takes a really long journey. It's not an ah-ha moment that makes everything better at the end of the half hour, like we see on TV. The re-building doesn't get completed the instant you call out to Him. The re-building is slow, and painful and often brutally scary. 
But as it is with healing of any kind, there is pain that has to be walked through first, to be able to find your strength in Him again. 
God, walk me through this pain, because I can not walk it alone. And please, I beg of you, show me, in every step, that you are by my side.

Written by Christi Brown

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