Goodbye 2016
11:11 AM
I have been waiting for this day to come for so long now. 2017 cannot get here fast enough. 2016 has been filled with so much personal tragedy and heartache I just can't take another minute of this stupid year! As my family has suffered, it has also been a year of suffering for so many people that I know. Loss of precious children, parents, grandparents siblings and friends. New cancer diagnosis', an entire local family perishing in a house fire, newly diagnosed diseases, mass shootings, ISIS, plane crashes. This year has rocked my word like nothing ever has. I question everything and feel a complete loss of security. It is the most helpless feeling in the world. I have slipped into what I've been trying to avoid since Aspen's accident - complete depression. Christmas took me down like I never could have expected. It was far worse than Aspen's birthday, which I still cannot believe, but it is lingering. It is not going away. I want to feel hope again and I thought that this day would bring that for me. New Year's Eve. A new beginning for our family. Hope for a new chapter in this nightmare of a book that will be forever known as the worst year of my life. Perhaps a new baby that will have Aspen's eyes and amazing personality. I want to find the strength to pull myself out of this quicksand of despair and find light to guide me into the new year. I'm praying to God and Aspen and anyone who will listen, PLEASE bring our family peace and light for 2017 and beyond. We all deserve the heaviness to lift at least a little and begin a new chapter filled with hope.
I'm giving it my everything - picking myself up, dusting myself off and plunging into the New Year with as much hope as I can muster. Focusing on the positive and leaving the negative behind. Bring on 2017!
Wishing all of my family and friends a blessed 2017!
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