Aspen Drake Seemann

2nd Ultrasound

11:11 AM

I received not the greatest news on Monday in terms of my labs for Colorado. For some reason, my levels dropped considerably from the week before and the nurse from Colorado seemed very concerned on the phone. We ended up increasing my progesterone shots to once per day, to see if that helps. I cancelled all my plans yesterday and just laid in bed with my feet propped up. So nervous that at any moment I could start to miscarry this precious little being. I wasn't taking any chances. I went in first thing this morning for more labs and then at 10:30am, we had our 2nd ultrasound scheduled. I was so nervous.  I prayed all day yesterday, last night and today for God to give us good news. It seemed like it took forever for them to call my name to come back. When they finally did the ultrasound, I could immediately see her little heart beating on the screen - 160 bpm exclaimed the nurse. WHEW! I could relax again! She also has started to grow here little arms and legs - Jenner will be excited to know that she now officially looks like a gummy bear instead of a grape as we discussed last night. He is over-the-moon with excitement and already has her name picked out "Dawn".  After the Nickelodeon show Nicky Ricky Dicky and Dawn. That's not going to happen obviously. My little girl will not be named after a cable network program. Jenner gets so mad when I tell him that I get to choose the name. He tells me that I ALWAYS get to pick the names. I remind him, that when he's old enough to be a daddy someday, he can choose his own baby names. We are off to Colorado tomorrow for Spring Break. I know this is going to be a bittersweet trip given the last time we were at Copper, Aspen was with us and it was so much fun! I am going to take time to do a lot of journaling, saving pins on Pinterest, reading and in between, work on our taxes and start buying things for the new house in terms of lighting, fixtures, etc.. Since I'm not able to partake in any of the mountain fun, i.e., skiing, tubing, snowmobiling, cocktailing, hot tubbing, etc. This trip will be all about relaxing, reading, pinning, reflecting and cooking. Hope everyone has a blessed week! I'm ready to get to our happy place (the mountains) and enjoy our family and friends.


Coping with the Loss of a Child

1st Ultrasound

11:11 PM

It was with nervous anticipation we had our first ultrasound today. So many things can happen in the first trimester of pregnancy, so we were trying to approach every test with caution for fear our hearts could break at any moment given the possibility of bad news. We have tried to remain positive and give everything up to God. We were pleasantly surprised to see that our little girl has a heartbeat, albeit very low, it was there! She is measuring where she should be and we are on track. Another ultrasound on March 2nd, will give us more information on whether her heart rate is increasing. Praying God protects this little life now and forever!


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Grow Baby, Grow

10:49 AM



Grow baby, grow!  I went in super early this morning as I couldn't sleep very well worrying about my labs today. I just got my Beta results - she's at 2,874 up from 118 last Friday. She is growing which makes my entire week! So thrilled that this little peanut is progressing! Next big step is 2/20 when we do the ultrasound to detect the heartbeat! Thank you for all of your continued prayers - we feel so blessed to be on this path. The very best early Valentine's Day gift we could possibly have imagined! Have a blessed weekend!

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Baby Steps

2:37 PM



Tomorrow is another big day. Another set of labs to see how things are progressing. I pray that our little girl is growing. Starting out with low numbers can mean a lot of things, but there are tons of success stories where beta numbers start low and they end up with a healthy baby. Still, I'm a natural born worrier, even before Aspen's accident so it's inherent for me to have a little anxiousness going into tomorrow. Wanting something so much, doesn't help the anxiety. Only God knows what his plan is for our future. I continue to put my faith in him and the journey that he sets forth for our family. Praying so hard for good results tomorrow. If all goes well tomorrow, the next step is an ultrasound on February 20th to detect the heartbeat. That's a big milestone. I'm trying to to stay focused on getting our house packed to put on the market in March. A lot of big changes are on the horizon, all good, but they all come with so much emotion. Aspen spent his entire life in this house, so Clint and I both have so many mixed emotions about leaving here. I think we both know it's what is best for our family going forward as I still can't even go in the backyard, much less, use the beach and the lake like we used to. We will miss our neighbors so much as our West Shores community has more than wrapped their loving arms around our family and we will never forget the comfort they brought to us during the worst time of our lives. On that note, if anyone is looking for a modern ranch on a lake with amazing neighbors, let me know. Our plan is to put it on the market in mid-March.