Halloween
8:06 AM |
| ASPEN - 2015 MINION (NOTICE THE BLUE TOES) |
 |
| ASPEN & AUNT TRISHY - 2015 |
 |
| ASPEN (NINJA) & AVA - 2014 |
 |
| ASPEN (LION) , MOMMY & JENNER - 2013 |
 |
| AIDEN, ASPEN & JENNER - 2013 |
It's here. Another holiday. One of Aspen's favorites! HALLOWEEN! I'm getting ready to head to school to volunteer in the library as I do every Monday and then help with Jenner's party at school this afternoon. Today I have a lot of anxiety. I spent all day crying yesterday after we attended a Halloween brunch with friends and Jenner refused to take a picture with me. It just made me so sad. I know I'm extra emotional right now, but it just hit me. Jenner is getting too old for pictures with his mommy. If Aspen were here, he would have taken as many pictures as I wanted to take. Not only have I lost my baby, but in a sense, I'm losing my first born. At least that's what my crazy mind is telling me. After brunch we had my nephew, Isaac's confirmation. I cried almost the entire time. I'm sure people in the church thought, what a lunatic, but they didn't know I just came from a brunch we have attended since Aspen was born and seeing all the littles running around just made it all come crashing down again. The picture was just the straw that sent me into another emotional meltdown. Confirmation was followed by our annual pumpkin carving/painting with my sister and brother-in-law, Katie and Adam. I LOVE carving and painting pumpkins. I buy a few kits every year and usually am the last one sitting at the table finishing my masterpieces. This year was no exception, but it didn't feel the same. It felt sad. Instead of my usual printouts, I bought the Paw Patrol printouts to honor our sweet boy! I knew he would be so excited to see the pumpkin I carved especially for him - SKYE the Paw Patrol dog. Aspen also loved this annual event and he'd always paint his pumpkins.
I got a text from my friend Lisa this morning. Her son Colton has been having dreams about Aspen. She said it had been awhile since he had a dream, but last night Aspen came to Colton in his dream and told him he was going to be SKYE - the Paw Patrol dog. Coincidence?!? I hope not buddy. I hope you see all we are doing to honor your spirit and I'm going to hold on to that today so I can make it through yet another holiday without you. I hope you come to the party tonight and know mommy will be right there with you dressed in my angel costume - just for you! Love you to the moon sweet angel!
8 comments
I love you sweet girl. It is going to be a tough day for all of us. We are here for you. See you tonight. Sending big Bear hugs. Love you!
ReplyDeletelove you my sweet friend...
ReplyDeleteI love you! Thank you for this blog Gina! It truly gives me an outlet!
DeleteLove you. Love Aspen. Miss him so much today. I cried three times today knowing he wouldn't be here tonight. I trust his spirit was in all those angelic smiles I saw at my door.
ReplyDeleteLove you to the moon.
Love you so much!
DeleteLisa, I think of you and the family daily. I cry with you. I cannot imagine how you feel. But you are so brave, loving and compassionate and we all feel your words and pain as you continue to write. We love your family. Please let us know if you need anything. Xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you sweet girl! It means so much to me that people are actually reading my blog. I am not a writer and when my friend Gina created the blog for me, I instantly dove in. It was like she knew it would help me heal. It has provided an outlet for me and it just makes my heart happy that others find some value in it. Blessings to you and your family!
DeleteLisa like i have said before you are an inspiration to many!! You have a gift for writing!!! Your words have touched so many, I think for those of us that don't personally know your family feel in some way that we do now especially Angel baby Aspen! He sure sounds like an amazing child and is loved abundantly by his family and strangers all around!! Your Angel baby is forever in my heart and prayers as well as you and your loved ones! ❤️
ReplyDelete